I should start off by saying that I use Facebook. I wouldn’t say that I love it, or that I think it is something that it isn’t. To me, Facebook is like the girl you call when you’re bored, and you have nothing else to do. She’s always there, ready and willing to provide you with just the right amount of entertainment – be it 20 minutes or two hours.
 
But, much like this girl – who ironically enough can also be described using the letters FB – Facebook has its pitfalls.
 
For starters, FB is a constant reminder that everyone is living a much more exciting life than I am. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen pictures of people I know (or knew) in exotic places like Athens, Australia, Germany etc. Am I jealous? Hell to the yeezy. I would like to travel. But, many factors prohibit me from doing so… most of them being financial obligations.
 
This is not to say I’m unhappy, or that I hate the fact that I can’t travel. I’m really indifferent. But, every time someone posts a FB photo album from Cabo, I contemplate posting my own called, Photos from the house, just to fit in.
 
I pretty much have it mapped out. Pic 1: Me in the living room. Pic 2: Me in the back yard. Pic 3: Me unclogging toilet. Pic 4: Me cutting grass.
Doesn’t it sound exciting? I know it can’t compete with “Pics from San Paolo,” but at least I’m doing something. I’m living.
 
FB reminds me that everyone lives in a much more exciting place than I do. New York City is great. I love it. I have friends who live there. They’re out and about, taking pictures and living it up. Herndon, VA is no NYC. A quick (unscientific) count of NYC clubs reveals 762 venues. In Herndon, VA there is one, if it can even be considered a club. And, I’m sorry, but a club that uses the phrase “happening place to be” on its website is just not cool.

Los Angeles is also cool. Celebrities and all that are awesome. Plus, I’m sure LA has some pretty hot (or should I say tight) night spots where you can see things like Lindsay Lohan crashing into something or Suge Knight getting knocked out. In Herndon, no one famous visits, or gets knocked out for that matter.
 
Sure, you could argue I live close to DC. DC has night life. But, it’s a 25 minute drive to the Metro, which is still 30 minutes from somewhere that is FB-worthy in terms of pictures. So, no, it just isn’t the same. Although, I could update my status several times: Mike Smith is on the train into DC. Mike Smith is walking to Adams Morgan. Mike Smith is in Adams Morgan. Mike Smith just got thrown out of Madam’s Organ.
 
It would also be cool because I’d get that little phone icon with the two curved lines that tells everyone I’m out and not in front of my computer. Awesome.
 
And, FB also makes whores out of the most innocent of people. Do you really have 538 friends? I don’t think so. You, my friend, are a FB whore. If you so much as went to school with someone whose little brother used to work with the person who has just requested to be your friend, you friend them.
 
I prefer to be a little selective of the people I friend. Now, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with being a FB harlot. There’s something reassuring about seeing triple digits in your friend count — If you have four digits, and you’re not famous, you should probably seek counseling — but, you should have some FB standards. Maybe, I don’t know, actually knowing the person at some point in time would be a good start. But hey, that’s just me. If you want to friend everyone, that’s cool, too. It’s just not for me.
 
All in all, I don’t have anything against FB. It’s a great way to keep in touch with old friends, and kill time. But, it also created a life barometer on which we all compare our lives to the lives of those of our friends. How does yours measure up?