Hi. I’m Michael J. Smith, movie theater employee and pointless blogger. I have a very important public service announcement for all of you moviegoers out there: Watch yo’ head.

At least three times (Yes! THREE times) per week, an unsuspecting moviegoer will approach the box office to purchase tickets only to bang their head on the glass. While this is comical to us movie theater employees – and we will most likely share your story with other employees for a good laugh – I would like to save you the embarrassment and the pain of a head-glass collision.

I’m not really sure what leads to head-glass encounters at the box office. Perhaps, more and more people have depth-perception problems? I thought for a second that maybe people can’t see it, but that argument is debunked by the fact that the glass is not incredibly clean, and we post signs on it. How can you miss it?

Accidentally banging your head on the glass will result in a very loud, comical BANG! You’ll also leave a skin-oil mark at the point of impact. This will be used later to confirm to other employees that someone did, in fact, bang their head. It will also create more work for us employees as we now have to Windex your mark. You’ll also create an uncomfortable environment where I, the movie theater employee, will attempt to complete your transaction without laughing at you. That’s incredibly tough!

Again, the collisions occur more often than you think. The reason? Most people look at the person behind the window instead of the window itself, or they look at the movie listings board.

I’m not saying stare at the window. That would just be weird. But, you should certainly be aware of the window. Make a mental note of the location of the window, and be cautious around it.

Also, watch out for the occasional douche movie theater employee. This person puts the pen/tickets/receipt far inside the ticket window so you’ll have to reach for it. If you’re reaching, you’re looking at what you’re reaching for, not the window, and BANG! You’ve just been owned.

Together we can put an end to box office, head-glass collisions! Thank you.