On Sunday, I was driving on the Capital Beltway, having just crossed from Virginia into Maryland via the American Legion Bridge. Because I like to drive a little faster than most, I was in the left lane. I had about 2-3 miles to get from the left lane to the right lane, so I could continue on the Beltway instead of getting on I-270.

As I frequently drive this route, I know where I need to be at what point on the highway to ensure that I don’t get trapped and end up getting on I-270. On the inner loop, the area between the River Road exit and the I-270 entrance can get a little dicey; it’s six lanes of people darting from one side to the other, trying to make their exits.
 
Sundays aren’t as bad as rush hour, but people still make maniacal lane changes. I anticipate a bit of stupidity, but I still casually make my way over because I know I have plenty of time. I’m not going to get boxed in by three people who all decide to drive even.*

* This is a public service announcement to all of you drivers out there: don’t drive even, ever! Driving even is when you drive right next to someone and match their speed. People often block two-lane highways with this technique. Not only is it annoying (it’s the number one complaint of drivers who drive Blue Hondas with tape on the rear quarter panel) but it’s unsafe as it removes your ability to swerve around something in the road.
 
The first two lane changes were uneventful. There were a couple of people trying to get into the left lanes, but they managed to stay out of my way, and I theirs. I had one more lane to go to make my exit, but I usually move over two to avoid those people who realize at the last second they need to get over and dart into the left-most, right-exit lane.

I checked my passenger side mirror to make my penultimate (yeah that’s right penultimate!) lane change when I noticed a bunch of cars rapidly approaching me. I was doing about 70, so these guys had to be doing at least 10-15 mph faster than me… maybe even 20.

I elected not to be a d*ck and cut them off, so I let them go by. The first car was a Porsche Cayman S (yes, this time I verified it was). The second car was a Porsche 911 Turbo. The next two were a pair of BMWs, one M3 and one 3-Series with rims. They were followed by a Mini Cooper and an AMG Mercedes (Based on the taillights, I think it was a 2007 E63 AMG, but not sure).

After they passed me, it became clear that if they were trying to race each other/show off.
 
I’m not sure if they were just a bunch of a-holes who got together to race on the Beltway on a Sunday, or if they were some sort of German car club. If they had all been driving the same car, I would have assumed a car club because I have twice encountered Nissan 350Z car clubs on the Beltway and they display similar driving styles: speeding and erratic lane changes all to the sounds of thumping techno. (Speaking of which, how do you type the techno drum sound… is it umpp tsst umpp tsst umpp tsst?)

A Nissan Maxima attempted to join in with them, but he couldn’t keep up. I actually think they intentionally smoked him because his car cost less than $50,000 and it had a dent or two.

I don’t know about you, but the last thing I want, when dealing with a six-lane melee, is a bunch of d-bags in high-priced cars flying around, making crazy lane changes that defy logic and safety.
 
Anyway, as we continued on, traffic started backing up. It wasn’t that we were slowing down, just that there was a lot of volume. Cayman and 911 Turbo (leaders?) decided it would be a good time dart between lanes just to earn one or two car lengths on each other. This is on top of the people already darting around to make their exits.

Their unexpected and sometimes erratic lane changes seemed to freak every other driver out (with the exception of me, the Maxima, and the other guys in their group). So, everyone was hard on their brakes. This caused even more erratic lane changes (evasive maneuvers) by the Mini, BMWs, and the AMG.

Not that I condone this kind of stupidity, but the Mini had what I would consider the nicest move when he squeezed in between the two Porsches and then darted in front of an 18-wheeler and took off. His lead was short-lived however, because once the 911 Turbo cleared the 18-wheeler, he caught and passed the Mini easily. I don’t know the 0-60 time of the 911 Turbo, but its 60-90 time was incredibly short.

For the next mile or so, all of them consistently pulled away from me and my 4-cylinder Honda. The only way I could actually recognize them is by their crazy lane changes and the sea of brake lights behind them. Then, they were gone.

I managed to catch up to them when they had to slow down to get on to I-95 going north, which was about 10 miles or so later. The I-95 exit always backs up because it has two relatively sharp corners that slow drivers down. So, all of them were slowing down to exit when I passed them. (Take that!)

I snapped a couple of photos with my camera phone, but the quality isn’t great. Plus, since I had to concentrate on, you know, driving, I couldn’t make sure the pics were framed well.

It’s actually funny that with all of their lane changes, crazy driving, and aggressive speeds, we still managed to arrive at the exit at about the same time. I guess to them it isn’t about saving time; it’s about showing off what their cars can do, which is much more than my Honda.