After three years of procrastination (and a little bit of coordination), Nadia finally finished her bar application and requirements. The final step was being sworn in at the New York court. The ceremony was on Wednesday Jan. 13th, so we decided to head up to my parents’ place in New Jersey on Tuesday, instead of heading up to NY super early on Wednesday.
 
According to the letter Nadia received, she had to be there at 9:15 a.m. sharp! (It was underlined in the letter!!!) So, we would have had to leave around 4 a.m. at the latest. It made much more sense to get up there Tuesday night.

We got on the road around 3:45 p.m. Tuesday. I was concerned with leaving so late in the day, as we would hit rush hour traffic on the beltway and around Baltimore. But, surprisingly enough traffic was not bad. We hit parts where we were a little slow, but we were never stopped, and there wasn’t a lot of volume once we got beyond the beltway.
 
We planned on stopping for dinner, but could not find a place that we really were craving. We decided on Arby’s, but due to a slight miscommunication, we missed the exit. At that point, we were in Delaware and decided we would stop in New Jersey.

We left the NJ Turnpike in Bellmawr, NJ (not to be confused with Belmar, NJ) and went to a place called Club Diner. NJ Diners are awesome (much better than Silver Diner) so, I was glad we waited to eat. But, from far away, the place looked like it could be a nightclub. For a second I thought, “Is someone playing a cruel joke?” I thought we might drive up and find out that it was a club, and have to find another place to eat. Fortunately, it was not a club.

We sat at the first table behind the hostess stand. Normally this wouldn’t be worth mentioning, but the hostess and a couple of the waitresses were apparently friends, and very immature (college aged?). At one point, one of the girls said, “If I ever get pregnant, I’m going to have one of my friends push me down the Art Institute’s (of Philadelphia) stairs. That’s A LOT of stairs.” That is a horrible thing to say out loud, even if she was joking – it was hard to tell if she was. I later mentioned to Nadia that perhaps she would be killed in the fall, which would be a good thing.

Anyway, one vegetable platter and a chicken cheesesteak later, we were back on our way. The NJ Turnpike ride was very easy — no traffic that late. So we got to my dad’s place around 9 p.m.
 
We caught up with the folks for a little bit, and then planned our trip to NY the next day. We had to figure out what trains would get us closest to where we needed to be. We also needed to find out what time the train left in the morning so we knew what time we needed to leave the house. We ended up taking the 6:21 a.m. train out of Fanwood, NJ to Newark Penn Station. Then, we took a train from Newark to NY Penn Station. Then we took the A train to Jay St. Borough Hall station. From there it was a couple-block walk.

The train ride was pretty easy. The NJ Transit train was cleaner and more comfortable than Metro. Taking it to Newark was easy, and relaxing. Once we got to Newark, though, it was like the beginning of the NY Marathon. People everywhere; all running to make the next train. We allowed ourselves plenty of time, so we didn’t need to run. But, we hightailed it from the Fan-Newark train to the Newark-NYC train because, well… when in Rome, I guess. People were sprinting. You don’t see that in Metro. People walk fast, but they don’t really sprint.

Anyway, we made our transfer point, and then had another nice ride into NY. Once we entered the NY subway, though, it was hard not to notice the dizzying aroma of poop. Ah, the subway, NY’s public toilet. After a few minutes, the assault on my nostrils went away. I no longer noticed the poop smell. That’s not to say the smell went away. I just got used to it – or as used to the smell as you can. (I didn’t actually notice that it still smelled like poop until we got into fresh air.)

The NY subway ride was long, but the stops were quick. And, it wasn’t that bad. We arrived at Jay St. around 8 a.m. and needed to figure out the location of the courthouse. Nadia took out the letter with the directions. I hate when people are reading directions or maps on the street because it screams, “I’m not sure where I am going, please clunk me over the head and take my money.” But, we figured out where to go and made our way to the court without incident.
 
Once we found it, we walked to a nearby Starbucks to kill some time/get some breakfast. We managed to get a table. A woman came and sat down next to us. I’m not sure if she was a NY-er, but I assumed she was. She must have trusted us – Nadia made small talk with her – because she got up a couple of times, leaving her wallet and iPhone on the table within my reach. At one point, her overstuffed wallet (with cash clearly visible) began to open because it was so stuffed. It was sitting on the edge of the table. Had the top opened completely, it would have fallen off the table because the top was heavier/thicker than the bottom.

I decided that if it started to fall, I would let it hit the ground. To me, that was better than trying to explain why I was holding her wallet as she turned around. It didn’t fall. Whew.

Around 8:45 a.m., we left Starbucks and headed back to the court where we found a line of people. They, too, were holding their NY bar letters. It was sort of like those karate-tournament movies, where fighters from around the world are sent letters (scrolls) requesting that they compete. All of these different lawyers, standing in line, holding their karate-tournament invitations.* Anyway, we got in line.

* In Asian-guy-dubbed-over-by-White-guy-voice: Your argument style is pretty useless! Your Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom corporate law style is no match for my Weil, Gotshal & Manges patent attorney style. Ha.

Once inside, we were taken into a waiting room. I was among future corporate and private lawyers. And, they looked pretty much exactly how you would expect. If you looked closely enough, you could tell which were likely to be corporate lawyers (blue, black, grey, pale yellow accessories) and which were likely to be pro bono attorneys (purple, red, bright green accessories). There was even one guy in a gray suit who might as well have had “Corporate D-Bag Attorney” tattooed across his forehead. But, anyway…

Nadia and the other lawyers were taken away and we (guests) were instructed to enter the courtroom. On four occasions – FOUR – we had been told “No Flash Photography” in the courtroom. It was even in the letter.

After we found our seats, a security guard instructed us again about the flash photog (twice), and to turn off – not silence – our cell phones. She said that they interfere with the mic. (There was a couple in front of me speaking a different language that I assume does not have a word for “silence” because, other than “no” it was the only word in English. From what I gathered, they argued over turning off the phone versus silencing it. She won, he turned it off.)

Another security guard came in and told us again – the eighth time for those counting – no flashes. So, as soon as the attorneys came in what happens? Pop… pop… pop… flashes going off like we were paparazzi and Lindsay Lohan just walked in holding a bong. Sigh. The guards walked around and told individuals to turn off their flashes as they took pics.

The clerk took attendance, calling out the names one by one. She instructed them to say, “Present” in a clear and loud voice. She got about 90% of the way through before one guy said, “Here.” She told us that there was one in every group, which drew a laugh. I should note that there were two guys named Mordecai being sworn in. What are the chances of that? I wonder if they sought each other out after the ceremony. They could start the law firm Mordecai Squared.

Newly barred attorney Nadia. Funny... she doesn't look any different.

The justices came in and we said the Pledge of Allegiance. Then, the lawyers took their oath. Then, the Chief Justice made a speech about how practicing law was a privilege not a right. He also quoted from the movie Saving Private Ryan, and he told the attorneys the despite the profession’s portrayal in movies and news, they should conduct themselves with ethics, etc. The speech also contained far more religious advice than I expected. He told the attorneys to worship, although he didn’t say specifically that they should be Christians. It was a much more entertaining and uplifting speech than I thought it would be.

After that, the guests were dismissed and Nadia and the others had to sign a scroll that attorneys before them signed. We went back to the waiting room and watched the rest of the proceedings on a TV. Nadia was the second (although she claims to have been the first) person called due to her last name.
 
The TV screen showed three different camera views. We could see the person walking up, then signing and then leaving. But, Nadia was far too short to be caught by cameras two and three, so I only saw her walk up. Then, she was done. It’s official, Nadia is a barred attorney in NY. Now all she needs to do is, after three more years of procrastination, is to waive into DC.

Part 2: NYC 2010: The Low-Budget Seinfeld Tour