Photo Gallery: Ring Shopping

It’s hard to pinpoint the exact moment when I thought, “I want to spend the rest of my life with Nadia.” There wasn’t an exact moment where a switch went from off to on. It was more like there was a series of moments and feelings that cumulatively amounted to everything feeling “right.”

The problem was that things felt right around the time that Nadia’s sister announced her engagement. So, to avoid committing a faux pas, I decided to wait to propose until after her sister was married. This was actually good thing because it gave me plenty of time to shop for the perfect engagement ring.

I didn’t want to go buy the ring with Nadia because I wanted it to be a surprise. Why? Because Nadia needs to know everything that’s going on, and if she doesn’t, she’ll keep asking until she does. So, I was determined to get the perfect ring without her knowing.

I looked online, first, to get an idea of styles and prices. Then, I went to Jared. (What’s a 13-letter phrase for marriage proposal? He went to Jared!)

I went to Jared mainly because of the commercials – you see them a lot here. When I got there, I was walked through the “Jared Experience”: basically why I should buy from them instead of Roscoe’s Chicken and Engagement Rings.

After watching a video about Jared’s process, I was introduced to a saleswoman. She showed me a few rings. The very first ring I looked at, I liked. It was a 14K white gold, .5 ctw ring with six round, channel-set diamonds. I looked at it with a princess (square) cut diamond. The one issue is that it sat really high on the hand, even with a small diamond. So the chances of it getting snagged were high.

I never got that feeling that it was “the ring.” But I liked it, and nothing else they had really jumped out at me. So, the woman wrote down the specs.

When all was said and done, the price was higher than I expected it to be. Jared charges you to set the diamond ($165) even if you buy the diamond and setting from them. And she cleverly added their protection plan to the price ($200.)

I put the paper in my pocket. That night, Nadia went to give me a hug and heard the paper crinkle in my pocket, and asked about it. She never asks what’s in my pocket! I told her to mind her own business and changed the subject. She called me sketchy or shady, but didn’t press the issue. Whew.

The next week, I visited three jewelers: Kay, Shaw and Fink, all located in the mall. None had anything of interest. The lines they carry are of a lower quality than I wanted. For example, there you can get a complete ring for $1,000 while most jewelers will charge that for a decent setting.

The mall jewelers didn’t know very much about diamonds. Beyond the four Cs, they couldn’t tell me much about the diamonds. And the women tried to use their “assets” to sell me a ring. I encountered four women, and all were wearing low-cut blouses and leaned forward when going for the sale. Needless to say, I didn’t buy from them.

I solicited Nadia for feedback. There was no way I’d be able to send her pictures of rings without her thinking that I was shopping for them. So, I told her I was “just getting some ideas.”

I sent her links to 10 rings with the goal of giving her so many options that she wouldn’t have a clue which one I was thinking about getting. In the first batch, I sent her the ring from Jared, which at the time was my top contender. She instantly balked. “It’s too square. It looks like a man’s ring. I don’t like it.” Again, I didn’t feel like it was “the ring,” but I liked it, so hearing this was like getting kicked in the gut.

After sending her another batch of rings, I started to pick out the patterns. She liked white gold, three-stone settings, side diamonds, and round shapes.

With that info I went to a local jeweler and met Larry. He had three rings that fit those specs. The first ring was a white gold, three-stone setting. It had four small diamonds on each side, two larger side stones, and a round center diamond. I saw it and instantly said, “That’s ‘the ring.’” We looked at the other two, but I knew the first was “the ring.”

Larry emailed me the ring so I could remember it. He also gave me the price of it with a 75 point diamond and a 96 point diamond with a price difference of $1,000. The price of the setting was more than double my setting budget.

I sent Nadia more batches, one with “the ring.” Her reaction to it was, “Ooooh, I like that.” It also just so happened to be the most expensive setting I sent her to that point.

I kept sending her rings. I accidently sent her a couple of the rings twice. When I noticed this, I asked her if she liked them. (Keep in mind that she previously said she did.) She said she didn’t, and then pointed out what she didn’t like about them. I was worried that she wouldn’t still like “the ring.”

I visited another jeweler and met Bobby. Bobby was straight-forward and genuinely nice. Unfortunately, he didn’t have anything that I liked as much as “the ring.”

At this point, it had been about a month and a half since I visited Jared. I ended up going to three more jewelers before settling on “the ring.” I really liked it, but I didn’t like Larry’s price. So, I looked for another jeweler to use as leverage against Larry.

In the picture Larry sent me, there was a watermark with the manufacturer’s name on it. I found their website, found the ring and tried to order it. Unfortunately, the manufacturer only sells to members of the jewelry trade. Blimey!

They had pictures of different angles of the ring. So, I sent them to Nadia at different times. It ended up being the only ring she consistently liked. I don’t think she realized it was the same ring because I sent her so many.  

Knowing that she liked it, I scoured the web for other jewelers who sold it. I searched for the item number and the manufacturer and got nothing. Weeks went by without any leads. I was getting discouraged and was close to biting the bullet and going over budget to get the ring from Larry.

Then, I started looking for similar rings. I thought that maybe I could get something that looked the same, but was cheaper online. As I searched, I learned that having the tiny side stones held in place by prongs instead of by a channel is called pave. I began searching for pave settings but didn’t find anything similar. But, I did find websites I hadn’t visited.

One of those sites told me that the name of the head style she liked was trellis (It looks like interlocking Us… or as Nadia calls it, a tulip). I started searching for a trellis, pave ring.

Four sites came up with similar rings. One only sold the ring with a small, low-quality diamond in it (and their site seemed sketchy). Two had “the ring” for the same price as Larry, and one had the ring for nearly 66% less than anywhere else.

I was excited but skeptical. I thought that maybe they were selling the ring with no diamonds. Adding the diamonds to the ring would’ve been more expensive than buying it with them included so, I emailed. I waited a day and then decided to order it without waiting for a reponse.

I had Gmail open while I was ordering it and received a message from the website as I was adding it to my cart. A woman named Meghan who worked at the website I was about to purchase the ring from wrote:

I discovered errors in listings for all of the new settings we recently added to our engagement ring gallery.  This included the ring you inquired about.  We are working on finding the source of the errors and correcting them.  Once I have the proper pricing and details ironed out, I will follow up.

I was very angry. I felt like I was baited with the ultra-low price and then they switched it on me.

I was considering paying Larry’s price when Megan emailed me. Her price was over my budget, but a few hundred dollars cheaper than Larry’s, and she gave me a 10% discount. Still, it was going to be hard to pay Megan’s price, knowing the original price they advertised. I told her about the cheaper ring I found on the sketchy website.

I told her I’d prefer to buy from someone I trust, but would go with the sketchy one if the price made it worth it. I told Larry the same thing. The goal was to get them lower their prices. Megan asked for a link to the ring. Larry dropped his price and said it was the best he could do. His new price was $75 more than Megan’s discounted price.

Megan pointed out why it was cheaper: it had smaller diamonds and smaller proportions, which meant it had less gold. She also hyped her company’s diamond selection and cutting procedure, calling it superior.

I maintained that I didn’t care as long as it “looked decent.” I also mentioned that Nadia wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.  I also said that Nadia liked lighter, thinner rings because they look “more feminine.” 

I wrote, “I’m buying that ring. It’s just a matter of buying it from you or someone else.” I told her I wanted her to come down 30% , on top of the 10% off. She came down 28% more, and we had a deal. I ordered it that day. It took two weeks for them to make. I received it and was pleased with it.

Photo Gallery: Ring Shopping

The Diamond

Getting the ring at a heavily discounted price convinced me that I could get a similar deal on a diamond but, I’d need to research it. I went beyond the four Cs (carat, cut (shape), color and clarity). I researched info on the lab, table, depth, culet, cut grade, girdle, polish, symmetry, and fluorescence.

The ring was designed for a round, 3/4 ct diamond. It could probably fit a 1 ct round, but I didn’t want to bend the prongs any more than needed and risk damaging the ring. I looked for diamonds around 73-75 points.

I found that GIA is the gold standard in diamond grading. AGS is another acceptable diamond grader. Any other grader (EGL and ICI) will not be as accurate. A diamond with a G (near colorless) color grade with GIA may be an E (colorless) with EGL. EGL and ICI are said to have looser standards, which is why some people don’t recommend them.

The general consensus is that whatever the store price is for a diamond; assume that the seller paid half of that to get the diamond.

So taking that into consideration, I came up with grade and price ranges and only shopped for diamonds in those ranges. Originally, I wanted a colorless diamond (F or better.) But, after learning more, I realized that putting the F diamond next to G side stones would make the Gs appear darker. The naked eye can’t tell the difference between an E and G, unless they’re side by side. So, choosing a G would make the whole ring appear brighter. Choosing a higher color grade would make the center stone appear bright and the others appear yellow, which could hurt the value. So, I settled on G.

I contacted Bobby first, since he was close and I liked him. He got me 3 diamonds. He had a 74-point that met all of the requirements. He also had an 83 he wanted me to look at, but I didn’t want it because I ruled out anything bigger than 3/4 cts and it was over budget. The 74-point was inside my budget but at the very top.

A few days later, I went to the Jewelry Exchange in Bethesda, for the same reason I went to Jared… the commercials. Much like Jared, I probably see the Jewelry Exchange commercial at least twice a day. Because they are located nearly 30 minutes away, I decided that while I was in that area, I’d look at local jewelers to see what kind of diamonds they had.

My sister and I headed to the Jewelry Exchange. I spoke with a guy named Frank who showed me diamonds. He showed me mostly EGLs and one GIA. The GIA did meet most of my requirements and it cost $50 less than Bobby’s diamond.

Pretty much everything he showed me, my sister liked, which wasn’t helpful. I told him I’d think about the GIA diamond and might come back.

We headed to the next jeweler on my list. His name was Keith. When we walked into his place, there was a cleaning crew working. That was odd, considering it was Saturday. And, Keith wasn’t wearing a suit. All of the jewelers I had encountered up to this point were wearing suits – or at least jackets and ties. Keith was wearing a polo and shorts.

He told me doesn’t usually deal in diamonds that are less than 1 ct, but that he had two in stock. They both were GIA certified and 3/4 cts. One was an E, one was a G. I looked at both and asked for a price on each one. Keith’s E diamond was the same as G/H prices with Frank and Bobby. Keith’s G price was almost too good to be true.

He seemed honest and sincere, but his store looked sheisty. That plus the too-good-to-be-true prices made me suspicious. I talked it over with my sister. She and I seemed to have the same assessment of him: honest and straight forward. But, I still wanted to sleep on it, so we left.

We stopped by another jewelry store and met Connie. She was nice, but didn’t show me anything better than I’d already seen with Frank, Bobby, and Keith. Plus, Connie’s prices were double everyone else’s and she said there wasn’t much flexibility.

When I got home, I emailed Bobby to see if he would lower the price. He came down to a price I would’ve been happy to pay before going to Keith’s place. But Keith’s price was just too good. I also found reviews of Keith’s place as well as his BBB rating. Everything was in order, and there weren’t any bad reviews.

So, I went back to Keith two days later. This time, there was no cleaning crew. Instead there was a camera crew taking pictures for his website, which explained the Saturday cleaning.

I looked at the diamond again, and chose the G. (In the ring, the E really made the Gs look dull.) Keith had his jeweler set the ring for me. He said my timing was good because his jeweler was about to go out of the country for four months, so I would have had to pay someone to set the ring.

Once the diamond was set, the ring was appraised. Most sites say store appraisals are useless. They always recommend getting an independent appraisal.

Before I left, I looked at the diamond through the loupe and made sure it matched the diamond plot. I wanted to make sure the diamond I paid for was the one in the ring. It was, so I paid and left.

A few days later, I found an independent appraiser to appraise the ring for insurance purposes.  He verified that the grading report matched the diamond. Ironically enough, his appraisal was higher than the guy who appraised it at Keith’s. In most cases, the opposite is true. I ring appraised for much more than I paid for it. I was happy.  Once I had everything together, I got the ring insured.

Now, all that was left was to give to Nadia… but how? Read the story of the proposal here.