Less than a block away from me lives a man with a yellow Porsche Cayman. I’m not sure how old it is, but he has had it for at least two years. The reason I bring up this man and his Cayman is that he leaves it outside, year-round, uncovered.

Remember the 40 inches of snow we got at the end of 2009? It was buried in his driveway uncovered during that storm.  Remember Thundersnow that made for a nightmare commute? Again, outside, uncovered during that storm. What’s worse, he’s got a garage! (My guess is it has junk in it. I should note that I have never seen the inside of his garage.)

Anyway, every time I see this guy’s Porsche, I feel like he doesn’t respect it. Why on Earth would you buy a $60,000 sports car (assuming he bought it new in 2006) to leave it out in the elements?!?!?! That’s like buying a copy of The Amazing Spiderman No. 1 today and reading it while eating Buffalo wings!!!!

But, this guy isn’t the only one. My father and I went to get propane two years ago on July 4th. While we’re getting my tank filled at Fairfax Propane, a guy in a silver 911 drives up. He’s got the tank on his passenger seat.  I mean, what the Fraggle Rock! “Hmm. Why don’t I plop this filthy, rusted tank in my $80,000 vehicle. Brilliant!” (Yes, he has a British accent.)

I always thought that these two dudes were exceptions. But now, it seems Porsche wants it that way. On Sunday… I was watching TV when this commercial came on:

Are you kidding me?!?!?!?!

The purpose of this ad is to show that a Porsche can be used as a daily driver. Marshall Ross, chief creative officer, Cramer-Krasselt, the agency via which Porsche Cars North America is running this campaign, said:

What is markedly different about this campaign is we are not selling the dream-car mystique of Porsche – that is already a given. The creative challenge here was to tell the truth of the drivability of the car and still make it feel as special as it really is.

The only reason you buy a Porsche, in my opinion, is because it’s got dream-car mystique, albeit less than the Lamborghinis and Ferraris I see cruising down Rt. 28. But still! I’m not buying a Porsche so I can run over to Costco and by the jumbo pack of paper towels!

Are you really going to take the Cayman over to Home Depot to pick up mulch, or whatever the dude was carrying in the commercial?

A snowmobile? Let’s assume for a second that its rear-engine helps improve its handling in the snow, would you really take your 911 out so it can be covered in dirty slush, sand and salt? If your answer is yes, you’re a fool. A rich fool, but a fool nonetheless.

A school bus? Not if your kids are over four feet tall, and you have more than two.

Getaway car? Well, yeah okay… that one is fine.

Obviously, I’m not a fan of this new “everyday” campaign. Porsche has built its reputation on being a car for the elite. They should keep it that way.